Fighting a Losing Battle

I faced a battle every year on Mother’s Day – feelings of inadequacy and failure that came from piercing words spoken to me years ago.

One year however, those feelings started the week before Mother’s Day. I felt such a cloud of darkness hovering over me and by mid-week I was crying uncontrollably.

No one knew what I was going through. I was suffering in silence. I prayed and told the Lord that I didn’t want to go through this again and I asked Him to show me what was causing the battle year after year.

God Never Changes

It is the Lord who goes before you. He will be with you; he will not leave you or forsake you. Do not fear or be dismayed. Deuteronomy 31:8 (ESV)

It was a memorable year to say the least. We experienced a flood of changes in our family. Some were heartbreaking, some were challenging, and others were bittersweet.

These changes included emergency surgery, a job change, a church change, graduation, college and two deaths in our family to name a few.

He is Exalted!

Thine, O Lord is the greatness, and the power, and the glory, and the victory, and the majesty: for all that is in the heaven and in the earth is thine; thine is the kingdom, O Lord, and thou art exalted as head above all. I Chronicles 29:11

I was entertaining negative thoughts about a situation out of my control. I was worrying about things I could not change and that really were of no long lasting importance.

And then it hit me like a ton of bricks. I was listening to everything but what God had to say in His Word.

Somebody Prayed for Me

I exhort therefore, that, first of all, supplications, prayers, intercessions, and giving of thanks, be made for all men; 1 Timothy 2:1

It was choir practice night at the church. I really don’t have a singing voice but I enjoyed the fellowship and the music. During a break, the daughter of a dear friend came to talk to me. She was about seven years old at the time.

Somewhere during the conversation, I turned to her and half joking, I asked her to pray for me. Her response touched my heart.

Someone to Cry With

Rejoice with them that do rejoice, and weep with them that weep. Romans 12:15

A lady in our church was standing at the altar crying so I went to her. I told her I didn’t know what to say to help her but that I would just cry with her.

She hugged and thanked me then told me that crying with her was all she needed me to do.

A few years later, I was visiting a close friend whose sister had passed away. We were talking when all of a sudden we heard the sound of children softly crying.

His Plans for Me

For I know the thoughts that I think toward you, saith the Lord, thoughts of peace, and not of evil, to give you an expected end. Jeremiah 29:11

It was a horrible car wreck that should have cost me my life. My friends and I had been drinking and we were now in the car heading home. But we were being followed.

In the frenzy of my friend’s pleas for the driver to speed up, I began to panic.

I quickly sobered up and began to ask God for help because I somehow knew we were going to crash.

The Winter is Past

And he that sat upon the throne said, Behold, I make all things new… Revelation 21:5

It was the first time I had ever heard the birds singing outside my bedroom window. Or maybe it was the first time I noticed. But that day was different.

It was early Easter morning and the birds, in their vibrant lovely song, seem to be rejoicing on this special day celebrated as the resurrection of our Lord and Savior Jesus Christ.